~PrincessSuffocation

Why must it rain? It's depressing, since it's been raining for almost a week, if not more...


I dwelled in anger for a few days... I never do that.
But it was refreshing at some rate. I decided to channel it somewhere safe and use the spare energy for something nicer than hating. I don't like the feeling because I don't really know what to do with it. Maybe I'll figure out a way someday and then I can die at peace. Hahaha.


No, seriously, people, don't have kids if you don't know how to raise them with safe ways to deal with their negative emotions, aggression especially. And don't raise such rollacoasters as myself, we're not having fun and we must program ourselves again if we wish to. That ain't too easy.


Things are turning their sunny side up, little by little, and I decided to make the best of it and make things happen instead of waiting~ Yay. ^^


P.s.
The mood-thing won't load up. You'll have to settle with the "Emotional".

I'm eagerly longing for something to call my own. Something simple would do nicely.
Something simple to posess, without having to share it with anyone else!
I don't mean people, as some of you might think. I'm not that horrid.


"Now that everyone can see,
to whom is it most humiliating,
the fact how you've abused me?"


Just one week left until summer vacation. And on 6.6. there's Tokyo Decadance at Gloria. ♥

... on Monday mornings.
And in the concrete boxes in the outskirts of our cities.
And in the fact that there is no magic in our daily lives.


I'm taking this all too seriously.


Sometimes I wish there could be somekind of a hologram-thingy that could replay some scenes that have happened earlier.

There are so many things I wanted to hear, so many smiles I wanted to recall, so many other expressions I wanted to see, all over and over again I'd watch and listen...
Especially in those moments when there really isn't anything and a painting for the art history class is drying and all of your friends are too far (or in a bar getting wasted).


How obvious do I have to get?


Top Design, hot from the Catwalks: PhaiK! Let's CONSUME the world-embracing power of all things BORING and PRE-CHEWED and PLASTIC!

P.s. Your government Loves you and only wants you to OBEY in return.

... For I want something that is out of reach, or so far I can't run to catch it.


Waking up to some weird realisations
and interpreting people's actions as some kind of signs in my messed up head,

neither is really helping.


This pains me. It wasn't supposed to.
Actually, this wasn't supposed to happen at all, but it did and first I was almost happy about it, but now I'm going to the brink of not enduring this feeling.


I can't express this.

You know it's Spring when everything is dripping.


Ahh, testweek started this morning (on a Staruday, I know! HORIBURE!) and now I'm rid of chemistry. For, like, forever! This was the only course I had to take, but now...
No, not again, no never again!


On monday I have the psychology test and I'm so lost with it. I tought of totally different things than psychology on the lessons...
(Just for the record: of Beauty, Emotion, Courage and Pride.)
I should be reading. I'll go soon...


I feel terribly light. I know there will be a new, liberating Summer.
And the next period is easy as what.
And Kokusyoku Sumire's older songs make me smile right now.
They're so adorably freaky. ♥ (like Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett.)


Okay, can't let myself become lazy right now. It's testweek and I should start running soon since the snow is melting already.


Boku wa Yume wo miteitan da ne
Yami wo enji nagara
Tada kizutsuketeta

Hakanai yume ni oboreteita ne
Hito de iru koto sae wasuresaseru ai ga soko ni itta


Sympathia, by Versailles